Fowl play

Ralph really hit the booze soon after that dame floated into his office like she owned it. A classy blonde with deepwater eyes, and a way of arching her long neck and pinning you to the wall with an uppercut look. The type your mother warns you about.

Seems her mother had lost the plot, spouting a tale that would ruffle the feathers of an angel. Strange people – big ambitions, house full of egg collections under glass. Now the family reputation had taken a nosedive and the doll wanted to get to the bottom of it.

That case broke Ralph. Most days now he’s down by the lake – watching the swans.

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Copyright – The Reclining Gentleman

*****

150px-MoreauLeda

Leda, by Gustave Moreau

If your word count’s100 or fewer,

There’s a risk of becoming obscure.

Click the picture right here,

And all will be clear.

Friday Fiction makes ancient tales newer.

*****

Many thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers, where each week writers submit 100 word stories in response to a photo prompt.

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39 thoughts on “Fowl play

    • I’m happy that you liked it. I had some fun with this one. My husband is a crime fiction fan, and one of his favourite authors is Raymond Chandler. I was having a bit of a chuckle to myself as I tried to copy Chandler’s style (at 2:00 this morning I might add!).

      Yes, it seems we do live close. Perhaps we’ll meet up sometime at a Hunter Writers’ Centre function – perhaps we already have!

      Thanks so much for responding.
      Cheers Marg

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  1. I’m glad you liked it, and I wish you success in your quest. If you ever find such a type, I’m sure she will inspire some good stories – maybe not happy ones. Thanks for your comment.
    Marg

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    • I’m happy that you found it entertaining. I realised I’d been writing a lot about sad women leaving their men in my Friday Fiction, and I really wanted to do something lighter this week. (plus, my husband was getting worried.) Thank you for your very nice feedback.
      Cheers
      Marg

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I was playing with the style, and I had fun. I like your description – noir with wings. Very good. I’m feeling the story is a bit too choppy, however. I’m re-reading it and finding too many gaps in the plot. I think I do these 100 worders the wrong way round. Thanks for responding.
      Cheers
      Marg.

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  2. Fabulous description of the ‘type your mother warns you about’, Margaret. Your choice of words was so apt – floated, long neck, deepwater eyes.
    It must have been a horrendous case to solve if it had that effect on him. Or was it the doll that unravelled him?

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  3. First time I read your story, I thought it was beautifully written. But I forgot about the myth of Leda and reread it on wiki. Then I read your story again and I know feel it is also very well done with the subtle hints to the Leda story. Thank you!

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    • No, not a Russian tale, a Greek one. I guess the eggs led you there. But the Romans would have made a great story. I might squirrel that idea away for future reference. The mother who’s ‘lost the plot’ is Leda. It’s Leda’s daughter who has come to consult Ralph, because her mother’s scandalous story is now out. I was assuming the daughter didn’t know her true parentage before this. Yes, I know, I’ve taken lots of liberties, but I’m allowed to – iit’s my blog. Thank you for reading and commenting.

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    • Yes he does – renamed. I’m not sure that Ralph is a worthy successor; I’m sure Phillip wouldn’t have fallen apart like Ralph did. Thank you for reading and commenting.
      Marg

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  4. Marg, I loved that story just like I loved the old 40’s movies on TV. The dialogue was great. It brings back the Bogart-type hero. I think I read that the authors were often brought in to advise on the movies. Well written. ๐Ÿ™‚ — Susan

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    • I’m glad you liked it. Getting those indefinable aspects to work together and produce the effect you’re aiming for is always a challenge. Thank you for your generous and kind comment.
      Cheers
      Marg

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  5. Oh I pity any detective charged with investigating the shenanigans among the Greek gods! It’d break anyone.

    I particularly enjoyed the description of the dame “pinning you to the wall with an uppercut look” – such a startling image ๐Ÿ™‚

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