Out of touch
“How long do we have to stay outside, Dad?”
“Not long.They’ll soon go.”
“They’re weird – the way they wander around, with one arm raised. Is that their war dance? Are they praying? What are they anyway?”
“You don’t want to know. Just be patient and keep your head down.”
“But it’s prickly and the ants are biting and I don’t want those creatures going in our teepee. It’s ours, not theirs, and my toys are in there. When will they leave?”
“As soon as they realise there’s no phone reception out here no matter how far they search.”
*****
Another 100 word story (actually only 99) for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
Onto the page 
Haha, nice one! With the last line I saw it all so clearly 🙂
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Thanks. Glad you got a chuckle.
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When I read the last line, I re-read the third line to make sense…From a different perspective – it does seem weird and funny as well.
http://evergreenleaf.blogspot.com/2019/01/tomorrow.html
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Thank you for reading – and re-reading.
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I like how you made the familiar seem alien
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Thanks, Neil. I’m not sure why the son is so unfamiliar with the modern world, but in a longer story maybe I’d find out. 🙂
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Excellent. With one arm in the air I was thinking some sort of Nazi-style salute until that last line. Well done 🙂
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A Nazi salute! Yes, it could have been that. Horrors! I’m so glad it wasn’t. And thank you for your nice comment.
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One hand in the air–I thought the child was maybe seeing ridfes pointing upward. The final line brought a big guffaw!
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It might have been rifles. But no, just phones. Phew. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your comment.
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yes, you made the familiar seem alien. I like it. Good stuff! (from threefoldtwenty dotcom)
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Thank you, Frankie.
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enjoyed reading it. excellent twist. 🙂
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That’s good. Thank you for reading, plaridel.
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Ha ha – loved the ending – so unexpected!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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I’m glad it surprised you. Thanks for commenting, Susan.
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Nice one!
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Thank you.
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Who are these people occupying their tent?
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I’m not sure – whoever they are, they’ll soon be gone. 😉
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Great reveal. For some reason I’d gone down the ‘Nazi’ path, so a humorous twist was more than a little welcome. 🙂
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I must say I didn’t think of the Nazi salute when I was writing this, but I’m happy that you and a couple of others did – it’s a nice little misdirection. Thank you for your nice comment, Sandra.
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Oh, that’s hilarious! I was like Sandra, on the same path until the end. Love it!
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Hilarity is good. Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you, Jelli.
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Loved this.
gramswisewords.blogspot.com
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Thank you.
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Very clever, dialogue-driven is also my favorite!
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Thank you, Gisselle. Dialogue does liven things up, I agree.
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Ah, the one-arm-raised mystery is solved 🙂
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Yes. Nothing too sinister.
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Very funny – well done!
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Thank you, Liz.
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Dear Margaret,
The last line put everything in perspective. As for the title it begs to question who are the ones out of touch? Love it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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So glad you noticed the title. I agonise over titles but sometimes I just can’t think of a good one. So thank you.
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A former FF’r once told me that a good title adds another 100 words to a story. 😉 You’re welcome.
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What will they do without a mobile phone,🙂
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They’ll just go home, and that’ll be a relief.
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Ha! Ha! All they want is a good reception 🙂 I think we were on a similar track this week.
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Yes, we were. There was a couple more with a similar thought. I liked yours very much. Thanks for your comment.
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Nice switch around.
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Thank you, James.
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Heheh, that is the best argument I’ve seen agains total cell coverage. Fun story, I especially like the war dance.
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It’s nice to think there are still places where we can escape from our technological world. Glad you like the war dance – thanks for commenting, Gabriele.
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Lol well done.
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Thank you, Laurie.
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Ha.. .that sounds like my place for vacations… you need to be able to disconnect
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True – although I wonder how many of us really could totally disconnect these days. Not sure if I could.
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Ha! Okay, that was quite humorous, once I read the last line and the imagery changed for me.
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Thank you, Jade.
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LOL…thanks for that.
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You’re welcome. Glad you liked it.
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