Okame’s heart belonged to beautiful Kantiga, but her bride-price had brought him here to the dripping rainforest in search of rarities. He must present his bride with sacred cockatoo eggs for fruitfulness, a live bulbul for its joyful song, and a curve-beaked hornbill skull to adorn father-in-law’s belt, ensuring safe transition to the final darkness.
As he climbed the grandfather trees each morning to harvest eggs, Okame heard the cries of the bird-people who had safeguarded his tribe for generations, and he prayed thanks to them all.
But his nights were haunted by strange visions of savage, saw-toothed monsters at work in the deep forest, bringing the tall trees crashing to the ground, and eggs of the bird-people smashed, rotting, wasted.
Photo by Madison Woods.
This is for Friday Fictioneers, a weekly 100 word writing challenge in response to a picture, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
You can read about the birds at:
http://www.birdlife.org/datazone/sowb/casestudy/181
Great descriptive writing. I can see how something would look like this after a monster got his hands on it. Your story reads like myth. Well done.
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Thank you for your nice feedback. It’s quite a challenge to get the tone you want in so few words. Marg
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This is scary. I want to know what happens next.
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Thank you for your comment. I think we should be scared. Marg
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Wow this was reminiscent of a tribal myth and left me wanting to read more.
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Thank you. I’m happy to hear you wanted more. My big challenge is writing less so I can keep it under 100 words! I haven’t quite succeeded yet. Still trying though.
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Oh, I like this. I’ve been reading a collection of fairy-tale inspired short stories, and this reads just like one of them. I love it already. I would definitely read more. Great job.
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Thank you for your lovely feedback. I’d be interested in knowing what your short story collection is.
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Time to call in the Monkey Wrench Gang.
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It sure is. I wonder how they’d go in the rainforest. Thanks for your comment.
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well described quest! hopefully he succeeds and becomes united with his lovely bride. i bet these tough pre-marriage trials keep divorce rates low. 🙂
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Thanks for your feedback. I hope he succeeds too – I did set him a tough task.
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Margirene, Good story with lovely descriptions. Looks like he has a big job ahead collecting all those things. The machines destroying part of the forest are making it all the harder. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
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Thank you. Yes, a big job – the treasures are becoming rarer.
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I really like how you capture the casual tone but acute detail that you find in myths and legends – together with the unresolved aspect of the story, these qualities give it a genuinely haunting quality.
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I appreciate your comments. Thank you. I did enjoy doing this one, although I took forever to get an idea about that picture.
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I agree. At first, the photo was more off-putting than inspiring 😉
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I loved the lyricism of the word choices you made. It wasn’t a ‘perfect English sentence’ but instead a perfect character narrative voice. At least, that’s how it felt to me.
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I’m glad you enjoyed my story. Capturing the characters is quite a challenge in 100 words.
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This is beautifully poetic and foreboding. I’m glad I didn’t quit reading the FF submissions before I got to yours. Lovely, Lovely, Lovely.
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I’m so happy you liked it. I appreciate your comments. Very encouraging.
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